


stop when i say

by Consulted_moriarty



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Implied Relationship, dark/gore, etc etc you know me by now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 07:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6973906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Consulted_moriarty/pseuds/Consulted_moriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you idiot you idiot you gave ME permission to write and i''lll only TEAR these pages apart. .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. war

**Author's Note:**

> all mistakes are intended. we like new stories because it gives us a / // freshh start.

i don't want to talk.

i don't want to tell my mom or dad and i most _CERTAINLY_ do not want to tell josh.

i will not tell my family, i will not tell my friends. it's better that way. off their hands.

**I** gift you three rubber bands, three for your left wrist. you wear three because two isn't enough and four is too perfect.

**T** hree is just right. one snap, two snap, three and you forget about bleeding. the stinging sensation is better, less of a mess.

**B** ut it isn't always enough. you pull the band further and further away, driving the rubber to attack your wrist.

                              **i sure like it this way.**

i yell at her even though she is nice, she is well dressed, her smile is glimmering ice.

doctor, doctor, i don't have lice.

she tells me to treat her like she's _my mom._

**W** e don't like anyone fillling **THOSE** shoes _!!!_ no **s i r ...**

**E** specially not a nurse derived from thunder and lightening.

**D** esigned to guide and aide, but she is NO God.

i wonder where my god is, if one is looking out for me.

no good, i think, not when you're with me.

you're the perfect parasite, the wondering star. oh comet, comet, haven't you _destroyed_ me?

                        **neverenoughneverenough.**

i remember falling through a window, was it even my home ?

you were there, guiding me to the door. unlock, unlock, unlock. let mother in.

is this our home? why can't i remember? where am i?

  **Let me** in let me **speak** to you, boy. i'm all you **have.**

i remember feeling hands, thousands and cold as ice.

they swarm in on me and i am scared and _wherewereyouwherewereyou!!_

        **you ARE** overwhelming my speec--- ------ ------   ------  ----

they touch and im scared and ywhere were you where was my mom  
where was my dad where were my siblings where was my family  
now there's josh and he's approaching and his smile is fire and dandelions  
and im lost in his teeth his precious teeth _minearesocrookedimsofuckedover._

                 'h _e l l o._ ' 

perfect lips.

perfect silence.

i am not scared.

all at once a greeting drives my fears from my mind and my hand stills over the bands, the third up on my wrist, the thickest.

he sees me, he sees my heavy eyelids and he sees my red wrist and he's wondering why i am not asleep at this moment.

oh no oh no he sees too much DONT LET HIM SEE dONT LET HI SEE HLP ME HLP ME.

**I** 'm here.

my voice of reason?

**Y** our only hope.

 

**Y** ou see, he doesn't know you like I do.

**H** e did not paint blue over red. oh, how i _detest_ blue.

**Y** ou taunt me, though, paint your walls a baby hue and insist your bones are washed and pure.

                'you haven't slept in awhile, have you?'

morning petals, dashing dew.

his eyes shine like sleep's his friend.

**N** ot you.

i'm intertwined, my good and bad. all summarized in fashion and fad.

**W** e are you.

you are me. but i wish you were you so i didn't have myself to blame when he bleeds over my sheets.

'no,' i whisper, my words lame and rattling train tracks losing their bolts. crazy, crazy, crazy. they call me crazy.

 

               'H A V E you considered... _sleepin'?_ '

cute. funny.

**H** e's a joke, this one.

he wants me to lighten up, that's all. he's not yelling, just speaking so clearly.

you're all fuzzy and foreign. i don't understand you.

 

**B** ut you feel me, don't you? behind your knees, in your elbows.

**I** have become the small parts, the anger at your alarm clock and the hunger when you wake at midnight.

**I** strike when you are alone, or not. who knows.

'no,' i whisper again, preoccupied by the fuzz i cannot push from my mind.

go away, i think. just stop caring. better when they don't care..

 

(becausewhentheydocaretheypesterme  
theysayboythisisaloadofbullshitandyou  
areanattentionwhorejustlookingforadoor  
anoutletoranythingreally.)

**SHTU UP. SH U T UP . SHUT UP _!!!!_**

**Y** ou don't get a say, that's why i am here.

**L** et me burn you, Tyler Joseph. Make you **PERFECT.**

**I H A T E** when they get to you before i do.

'didn't they already?'

i say this out loud, i want josh to know. he's clueless, but he knows why i cry.

well, maybe he doesn't. do the bruises say? i tried to cover them, tried sweaters and pants.

but i'm a fucking attention whore, aren't i?

                               'tyler, talk to me.'

a voice of reason, a constant.

im not com for table. go away awy away.

 

**Y** et this is what you want. you love the attention.

**A** ll they did was hurt you but now you can't get enough.

**Y** ou're obsessed with the pain, with the gore. the _sex._

**A** nd i didn't even _GET A SAY!!!_

 

i hate when you talk like that

not what you say

but how, those lines.

 

**...**

 

it's just not right. we were taught wrong from right.

i like to climb on josh and beg for it,

i like the hurt.

 

**...**

 

he knows that and so do you.

i didn't ask for a cure.

i asked to cope.


	2. storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'll fall quiet because you don't. listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> speakkk up and proclaim your love

you fell quiet.

i don't know why you did that but you fell quiet.

did josh scare you away?

....

i am prepared.... to get _extreme !!!!!!!!_

 

.....

do you hate me, bl u rry fac e ???

 

....

 

TALKTALKTALKTALK! !!!

 nothing. okay. i get it. it's my fault.   
 i shut you up. i get it. my fault, my fault.

i still have josh, josh still f u c k s me like rent's due tomorrow.

he calls me a whore, like you used to.

 

i guess it's nice.

it's not you, but it's nice.

 

sometimes i tell him what i want to do, what we wanted to do.

i tell him i want to carve him into the bed sheets, make thanksgiving /come/ Early.

he whimpers and tells me to shut up,

just like i used to tell you.

 

but now you're quiet so it's my job, i can't blame you for my thoughts.

they're mine, the gore and the sex. i want, i want, i want.

 

i remember my mom reaching behind her seat, her open palm hitting my thigh,

i remember tracing every finger that was left as a red mark in my skin,

later. .. i _carved_ it in.

 

josh likes to put his hand over the scars, likes to say his big palm hides away the torture.

he likes to put band-aids on gunshot wounds.

you liked me exposed, though. hanging from the ceiling and ripping my shoulder tissue from how my arms hang.

i liked that, too. i never told you.

 

....

 

...today i touched josh. i don't mean sexually, i touched him. i touched his ribs and his intestines and his stomach.

he sobbed so hard and he begged me to stop but he got r e a l quiet when i put the gag in, just like you instructed.

he got into it, about fifteen minutes in. he got so hard and kept shoving his cock into my hand,

just like you said he would.

 

i never let him come, no sir. kept touching and biting and i _ate_ a bit of him. just a bite.

swallowed it, right in front of him. he sobbed again. he sobbed so hard and he called me a freak.

just like you do.

 

...

 

_WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? I DID THIS FOR YOU !!!_

 

...

 

i sewed him up real nice, put everything back where it belonged except for that muscle,

i wasn't gonna throw it up or anything... what a waste.

 

but i got sick and threw it up later, feeling really gross. there was a lot of red and josh rubbed my back,

he said it's good i threw it up. he said it makes me less of a freak. you'd disagree so i did it for you.

maybe i am you?? is that what happened? ?? are you on the surface? am i on the inside?

 

'you've been quiet, blurry.' josh remarks, catching my attention. i look towards him, asking why he calls me blurry.

'baby's thinking real hard today.' i say instead of my question.

oh. oh no.

blurry non o no no!!! !! _!!!!!_

'maybe ,,, you'll le t me **taste.** ' my voice coos and i watch josh whine and _fuck_ i fucked it all up.

 

but ... josh is into it?

_hell yes he is, tyler._

where are you WHERE ARE YOU?

_on...the...outside..._

 

'only...a little. no more...no more bites.' josh tries to reason and i'm frantic to state blurry is a lying fiend.

 

we move together, as one, and teeth catch josh's thigh. it doesn't take a genius to see that blurry's about to bite and

josh shoves him back, trying to get away and hissing that he's lost too much blood and the nice stitching on his chest

is pulling apart and leaking again and blurry licks our lips and i whimper on the inside, unable to voice my apologies

before josh is cursing us out and cryin again and turning away and it's all. my. fault.

 

_shut up._

 

DON'T. TOUCH. MY. JOSH.

_imgoingtofuckingdevourhimandhe'llbegforiteverystepofthe way._

nononono he won't.

 

'okay. just...a smaller bite.' a weak voice cuts into the internal struggle and i watch in horror as josh

is the one initiating it again and we smile and close in on his trembling thigh and tear a piece from

him with our incisors and he cries so hard and touches himself through his underpants until a wet

spot appears and he keeps shouting, ' _blurryblurryblurry!_ '

 

'that's not my name.' a voice, soft like lilacs, interjects. it's me! im' speaking!

 

_NO._

'i'm tyler. i'm tyler. i'm tyler!' i speak, clawing my way through my own skin until red

marks on my arms _bleed._ i press hands over josh's thigh, holding it to the bed.

i'm sorry, i never say. because maybe i'm not.


End file.
